Once upon a time, the Oneika you know here was actually named Nikita– on the internet that is. When I realized that people other than my mom, three bored friends, and the occasional random were reading my online ramblings, “Oneika does France” (the first incarnation of this blog) briefly became “Nikita the Traveller”.
While I’m not a private person (I’m far too much of an exhibitionist at heart), I still thought it prudent not to reveal my true identity on the interwebs. Privacy on the internet was a priority.
Then I realized I didn’t really care, and re-christened this blog “Oneika the Traveller”. After all, I’m proud of what I write on my little corner of the internet and figured I might as well get credit for it. I also think my name is cool and hope that putting it out into general society will hopefully result in a generation of little girl (and boy- why not?) Oneikas when I am old and grey (only half joking). And finally, I hated that readers were writing me emails that addressed me by the name “Nikita”. I found myself constantly signing my responses as “Oneika aka Nikita” in an effort to set things straight.
In other words, I don’t mind having my full name- Oneika Raymond– plastered on the internet. However, I do know that there are many people, for many reasons, that do. I dig that, I totally respect one’s right to privacy on the internet.
Because, in all honesty, while my transparency has been rewarding, it brings a certain amount of responsibility. Even if I wanted to, I’m just not going to write about lewd, inappropriate things- because you never know who is reading; privacy on the internet is never guaranteed. Case in point: just two weeks ago one of my students at school revealed that he had googled my name and found ye old blog (for the record, he thought that Ms. Raymond’s tales of her travel adventures were “cool”). Another example: I never go into great detail about my places of employment for obvious reasons, but a crafty reader last year figured out exactly where I was working in Hong Kong, and emailed me questions about my job.
What’s more, we’ve all heard about how potential employers have gotten into the practice of googling employees. Exercising discretion when talking about one’s personal life on the internet, avoiding writing about stuff that could possibly come back to haunt you (and affect your job prospects!), is KEY.
But I digress. What I really meant to tell you is that my handsome, tall drink o’ water partner-in-crime is often the subject of a very innocent error. For you see, while I refer to him as Liebling on this blog, did you know that it’s not actually his name? Those who speak Deutsch probably recognized the pseudonym: liebling is German for darling, a term of endearment for my very special guy. In the early days of our relationship, in respect for his anonymity, I started referring to him as mein Liebling (my darling). I eventually dropped the possessive adjective and he became Liebling, frequent travel partner and eternal nice-guy. Years later, he could care less whether or not I put his real name online (it’s pretty easy to find out anyway), but I’m so used to calling him Liebling when I write that using the name on his birth certificate (which incidentally, is not a very German-sounding name at all) would just seem wrong.
At any rate, people usually think his real name is Liebling, and as we’ve begun to meet readers and other bloggers in real life the mix-up has proved hilarious. I introduce him by his real name and people are completely dumbfounded; the flash of confusion on their faces is just priceless.
Deciding what or what not to share can be a real balancing act, but I choose to share my name, my face, and my travel tales. That being said, I can understand why you may not be prepared to do the same.
Do you give your real name on the internet? Why or why not? What and how much do you decide to share? And did you know that Liebling’s real name isn’t Liebling?
126 Comments
Great post and interesting topic. I’ve always just been me online. No sure I’m stealth enough to keep an alter ego! 🙂 and yes…with my limited knowledge of German, I did figure that libeling was a nickname.
I agree about not having the energy or stealth to maintain an alter ego- it can be exhausting (and confusing)! Glad you picked up on L’s alias :-0
Very interesting post! I refuse to add anyone from work onto my Facebook (not one to mix business and pleasure and besides, how could I complain about work if they can all see it haha) and I get mocked endlessly for it. I stick firm though. I just started a Twitter account in the past year but no one at work knows that as well. I am very careful with what I say because, in this age of google everything, you never know. I’m glad you mentioned the nickname so I don’t get confused in the future haha.
It’s funny how we (I) can add complete strangers on FB, but feel reluctant about adding colleagues! I agree with your assessment, though! And good on you to not caving to the pressure- I don’t think I’d be able to! Basically, at this point, my personal Facebook page is super benign (read: boring) so I don’t think I’d mind if my work mates found it. But most people I work with have no idea I write a blog!
Great post and something I can totally relate to. I felt really weird when I first started my blog and I wasn’t sure if I wanted everyone to know so much about me. The nature of a blog means that you end up writing a lot of really personal thoughts and I quite often find myself chopping bits out because I’m not sure I want people knowing this stuff. I’m also really shy about my writing and never share my blog with my ‘real life non-blogger friends’. Sometimes I think I’d be better off writing an anonymous blog and spewing my thoughts out but it’s definitely better when you get to know the real personality behind a blog.
Oh, and you do have the coolest name ever. Almost as cool as Monica 😉
Haha, I was thinking about you as I typed this- precisely BECAUSE my alias when I go out and have to tell people my name is Monica since it’s so much easier than Oneika! I even wrote a post about it, which I’ll have to tweet you!! LOL. I agree with the self-editing when it comes to blogging. I keep my blog positive apart from the occasional rant, but still feel that who I am as a person still shines through in my writing!
Very thoughtful post! Before I moved, I’d spent the last two years as the social media editor for the company I worked for, which had the effect of making me much less concerned about achieving total anonymity online while at the same time REALLY valuing the concept of privacy. I also tend to self edit (to a degree), and I’ve given my husband and son aliases on my blog so that they’ll still retain a modicum of privacy. It’s definitely a balancing act.
And it took me a couple of months to realize that Liebling’s not a real name. 🙂
It’s funny how those two divergent concepts (dwindling concern about achieving anonymity vs. valuing privacy) came together for you but I completely understand, hence the fine line we as bloggers walk! I feel that my honest experiences benefit others BUT I don’t want to make my entire life public!
It is a bit of a dilemma isn’t it?! I held off setting up a Facebook page for my blog until I’d handed in my notice at work, because I couldn’t have them reading I was about to travel for 7 months! And my name on Twitter wasn’t my real name for some time either. Now I’m like you! Ready to inspire a whole generation of little ‘Arianwens’!
I LOVE your name (though I’m not sure how to pronounce it, lol)! I think the coworker issue is why a lot of us hold back from putting too many details on the net!
This is a brilliant post Oneika, having been blogging just under a year I’ve gone back and forth over how much information is too much information. For instance, on my sites FB page I put up photos from my travels – never really sure whether or not this is a good idea or not. In the end I just decided to be an open book… but my friends and family are always pseudonymous. I totally agree about the employment issue though, but as far as my name is concerned I figured that if someone is that desperate to find me they’ll find a way anyway. Such a good post! x
Thanks Scarlett! I think that putting up travel photos on your FB fan page is a good move- I think that’s pretty much the point when you have a travel blog! You have a real opportunity to inspire…and you can definitely inspire while censoring some info… So go for it!
When I 1st started blogging I protected everyone besides myself in a shroud of anonymity. Then as my blog grew in popularity and my life became more transparent I decided to to just share everything. I’ve found that readers feel even closer to you the more personal you are.
I definitely agree that the fact that you’re so transparent is the reason that so many of your readers connect with you! I feel like I know you even though we’ve never met in real life 🙂
I, like Monica, use my real name, but don’t share my blog with my non-blogger friends (though a few have found it). I am really shy when it comes to the people really close to me reading my stuff, maybe it’s a little fear. I like to be able to write freely without having to worry about what so-and-so would think. As more friends are subscribing, I just have to tell myself to not let that influence what or how I write. Great post!
Funny thing is that I didn’t share my blog with some of my non-blogger friends, but now I promote my blog on my personal FB page quite often! As I said, I am proud of how much my blog has come along so I like to share it as much as possible 🙂
I do give my real name on the internet…my face is plastered all over my blog. However, I do use some discretion because as a blogger my personal life is my own. As you stated, you never know who is looking–whether it is a professional contact or an employer, and I always want to highlight my best parts. I’ve heard of some people using aliases, but to each their own. I know that our readers like connecting with a face, and as a reader of many blogs, I like connecting with an actual person. And yes, I thought his name was Liebling. But, I can understand why you use the name.
So true about highlighting the best! Reminds me of the expression “put your best face forward”…
Considering that I’m about to post an article about sex abroad, this is good timing! Some folks here, not my students have found my blog. Most of the responses are actually positive – good writing, blah, blah..
I think if you have a separate job from travel blogging – it’s probably smarter to be more restrained with your identity. Especially if the person works in a conservative sector.
My plan was always long-term, to use my fame on the web for a lengthy career, in what I’m not quite sure yet, but once I figure it out, I’ll stil continue to be transparent about my mug and personality.
I agree that we have to make the distinction between those who blog as a career and those with “day jobs” for whom blogging is a hobby. I’m an educator by day so I’d never want anything untoward to be attached to my persona- online or off!
Okay, I’m clearly in the minority because I totally thought his name was Leibling until recently!
Great post. This is something I struggle with too. I started blogging years ago and used “kay” because I wanted to remain anonymous…and it kinda just stuck. Anyone who’s ever emailed me knows my real name but yes, I am getting tired of correcting myself in those introductory emails. I rarely post photos of myself either…
RIght now though, I’m still about 50/50 on the matter. I recently did a survey and I know readers of my blog want to know more about my life so my real name would be a good start….I mean, I enjoy reading blogs of others who’s name I know and I know what they look like – makes them more real…so I think how uncool of me to do the opposite..Hmm, we’ll see.
haha, I know! Our recent Twitter DMs alerted me to this.. :-0 I think you have to do what’s comfortable for you, I think that you are candid enough about your life- knowing your real name isn’t super important for your readers I think.
The more time I spend online the more I feel comfortable having a public presence on it. Because of the spelling of my name it had to happen pretty quickly as there is only one Ayngelina out there. But the one thing I do, mostly for time management but it also helps with safety is that my site is always a few weeks behind where I currently am so that no one can track me down.
Unless they have foursquare…
I think that Adventurous Kate also touched on the notion of not alluding to her real-time location for safety purposes. Probably is a very smart thing to do, especially if your face and name are easily recognizable!
I named my blog after a shortened version of my middle name because I love it so much. I can understand people who blog for fun and keep their blogs anonymous, and for me, the most important thing is that I maintain good writing and content I can stand behind. I share things on my blog that relates to me only, and do not share things about others around me. While experiences and interactions overlap, I do find myself thinking about what I am comfortable sharing. I think it is simply necessary.
Sidenote: I had no idea Leibling’s name isn’t really Leibling! Lol
“…for me, the most important thing is that I maintain good writing and content I can stand behind.” THIS! I try to write only about me (sounds egotistical, but I think you know what I mean) and minimize the details about friends and family (unless they themselves are travel bloggers).
Very interesting post Oneika. In the beginning, it didn’t really cross my mind as my blog was for friends & family and both of our names were used. As my readers increased it came to mind that perhaps I should be careful about sharing certain things. I’m making a conscious effort to leave out the husband’s work stuff now and be a bit more vague about our exact locations, etc. Actually, I became a little worried after I did a couple of could be controversial posts about Gabon when I know that there isn’t really freedom of speech here and then I worried they’d be able to track me down a little too easily. It’s a fine line – I appreciate other bloggers who are honest and admire their courage when posting personal things but I also understand the potential repercussions.
I think that in a place like Gabon, where the expat community is small and you’re easily trackable, that being careful with regards to revealing key details to your identity is a smart thing to do! Because I live in London it’s not really a concern, but I think that were I live in a place that was smaller and less politically stable/free I would do the same. As it is, I really try to stay away from inflammatory topics on the blog: politics, religion, sexuality, etc. I keep it light and keep it safe!
I never one considered blogging anonymously and figured that it’s pretty easy to find out information about anyone online anyway. I don’t get super detailed on geography and am careful about posting exact location details of where I am at any given time (ex. not having landmark clues in my Twitter photos although sometimes I do!) especially when traveling for long periods of time. Regarding social media in general I used to have a locked Twitter and unlocked it then got annoyed by people who lock theirs because I came to the realization that social media is really about being social. If you’re not going to go all the way with it maybe it’s not meant for you although I sometimes still feel conflicted esp about Facebook seeing that I joined in its early stages when it was for college connecting and like Sarah above don’t mix work and Facebook. I guess it’s social media channel is different and can have its own set of “rules.”
I also feel conflicted- so hard to keep the “circles” and “boundaries” straight! I get a lot of reader emails which I try to answer as honestly as possible, but it is a constant balancing act with regards to how much to share with perfect strangers 🙂
Wonderful post and a very interesting subject. When I started my blog I was a bit more guarded and only used my first name. As I’m now several years in and exploring the possibilities of where my blog could take me, I’ve put myself front and center – to represent my brand.
I do have a day job in a totally different professional sector, so I try to be very concious of everything I post not only on my blog, but facebook, twitter, in comments, etc. It’s almost like walking a tight rope.
Yes!! As I get more of a following, I realize that I need to put my true identity out there!
Fantastic post Oneika! this is something I’ve been trying to work out myself. Currently I have my first name on my blog, and my maiden name isn’t too hard to find. However, I’m uncomfortable referring to my husband by his name online, b/c…well lets just say its much more specific. I’ve been trying to come up with a suitable nickname, but no luck yet. For now he’s just B. Maybe I’ll take a page out of your book and investigate some endearments from other languages.
You can also called him “the hubby” or the “the hubster”? I think it’s tricky when you have a partner who is a significant part of your life. You have to mention him, but at the same time don’t want to reveal his identity.
I used to use a pseudonym when I first started blogging, which consisted of some really crappily made wesites filled with angsty poetry that I wrote when I was 14. Thankfully those sites are gone, but when I started travel blogging I had the same debate. Eventually I came to realize that people like to know who they are reading about, and hiding behind a random user name isn’t going to help. I’m also using my blog as a writing platform, and for career interest I think it’s important that I am myself, as long as it won’t run into professional problems (meaning I keep the drunken shenanigan posts to a minimum). I do respect others privacy, so I never mention specific family, friends or coworkers by name – I usually just keep it general, i.e. my friends and I went to Vegas, etc.
Same here! I use pseudonyms for friends and family or just don’t get specific at all! Really no need to mention them if it’s not central to the story!
I tend to be pretty transparent on my blog, for sure, but understand why people wouldn’t be. I really think the idea of opening up is important to your voice and to your blog—if it’s not YOU then why blog? But then again, I know several people who have pen names. But the voice is all personal, that’s why I keep coming back to blogs because I feel I know them more.
Agree with everything you’ve said! But I think that your voice can shine through without necessarily putting your name!
I am very private person, which is amazing to me that I blog. Many acquaintances don’t know that I even blog, although I doubt many of them would read it anyway. 🙂 I do go by my first name, and when you google my married name my blog does show up. I DO NOT put my husband’s name on the blog. Since I refer to him as Husband J, I think that’s enough for him. He works in a stodgy profession, and I think it’s best he keep his personal life/travel personal. When I first started blogging, I ended up writing for a widely read wedding blog under a moniker. Both of our faces (but not our names) were all over my posts. I’ve actually been spotted on the subway a few times here in New York because of that site. I didn’t use my real name then, but it was funny to be recognized publicly.
I haven’t been recognized publicly yet- that must be wild! But I do remember running into a blogger in Hong Kong when I used to live there… I read her blog before moving to HK, but never commented, and eventually she stopped blogging. It was so weird to run into her over there though!
I have got to get serious about studying foreign languages. I had no idea that Liebling’s name wasn’t Liebling! LOL. I’ve scaled back tremendously on sharing personal info on the net. Facebook and work should totally be separate. People need boundaries. That being said, I must confess that I tend to gravitate towards blogs/bloggers that are in the open book camp. It’s just more compelling as a reader.
I’m beginning to realize that FB and work should be separate entitites as well, and that I don’t have to be everyone’s “friend”- it’s enough to be polite and maintain a positive work relationship! I used to struggle with that a lot.
Absolutely. We live and we learn. I just feel it’s one thing to be cordial even jovial at work. . .it’s another for you to see personal pictures whether it’s a family picnic or me dancing on tabletops. Yes, you can use privacy settings for postings and photos to block certain folks. But after awhile, it struck me if I don’t want you to see my posts and pics well, maybe we shouldn’t be facebook friends. Also sometimes you don’t want to read your co-workers comments on your baby pics, etc. Okay getting off soap box! 🙂 Thanks for a great post Oneika and all that you do! I love reading your posts including the ones on Huffington Post!
So some people address your guy as “darling” the first time they meet him? 😀
They certainly do! But I don’t mind so much because he totally is.. 🙂
Yes, I knew Liebling meant “darling” and wasn’t his real name because you’ve blogged about it before and because I’ve seen the word before in various books. I’m surprised so many people thought that that was his name haha. They aren’t true dedicated readers of your blog if they didn’t know. LOL! j/k
I enjoyed this post. You are so beautiful. *jealous* 🙂
Awww thank you (for the compliment and for being a true dedicated reader).. 😉
I had no idea that wasn’t his name!! HAHA! But I respect that. I am a lot like you (you are my sister in my head–or on the internet) and will divulge some of my personal info, but other’s I respect their privacy. Also, you deserve your own privacy and as much of a fan that I am of yours, I would never be put off if you didn’t want to divulge anything.
haha, I’m surprised that many people don’t know but then again it probably isn’t that obvious? In the beginning I thought about naming him “the German” on the blog, but it sounded so harsh!
Really interesting topic for a post!! Personally, I’m a bit of a control freak, which means that I tightly watch my online identity – I want to share my personal information when and with whom I choose, as opposed to having it freely available online. However, I think there’s a balance when it comes to blogging – it’s fine to claim a bit of anonymity, but you still want to share enough that readers can start to feel like they know you 😉
Also, heads up – you should think about posting a second update on your old blog about the transition to this address! I figured my blog subscription service would automatically update, but it didn’t!
Thanks for the heads up, Naomi!! I will post another link to the new blog on the old one…
I agree with the whole “needing to share just enough so that your readers get a sense of who you are” thing!
Great post and something that I can completely relate to. At the moment I use the name ‘Ad-lib Traveller’ but I have been debating whether to start acknowledging my real name on my blog… it’s one that I still debate as I treat it as a brand. That’s to be expected with marketing being my FT profession 🙂
My initial concern was with work, with a host of developers around me we are always ‘switched on’ to the Internet however none of my colleagues are on my Facebook (personal), I rather them be on LinkedIn as professionals instead – yet I have mentioned my blog through discussions on there… the debate ensues I guess.
Also… I thought Liebling was his name! LOL, SMH
I think that in your industry being “outed” as a blogger probably wouldn’t be a bad thing- it’d probably drive traffic! :0
As you know, I do go by a pseudonym on my blog. I made this choice about 5 years ago and while it has proved to have it’s own complications – I find it to be better in general.
I do write quite personally about my life, and while I try to not write anything that I think someone else might find offensive having just the bare minimum of anonymity makes that kind of writing possible.
It does tend to blow people’s minds when I tell them my real name.
I totally thought your name was Deidre (or Betty) in the beginning!
Nice post Oneika, you made me laugh with “people are completely dumbfounded; the flash of confusion on their faces is just priceless.” 🙂
I go with a pseudonym, Madame Bavardages but this is sooooo me! I like my real name, Saran and do sign my blog related emails with my real name. THE big question when I started my blog was: showing or not showing my face! I was concerned for few weeks and then I really didn’t care. I feel much better like that. The beauty of it all is sharing stories, experiences point of views with whoever is interested in reading it.
I love love love your name, moi aussi je suis super bavarde, j’arrive pas a me taire, surement c’est une maladie… 🙂
so i suspect i am the one you are referring to who figured out where you worked but had no idea liebling wasn’t his real name! i blog anonymously as well but if i know people in the philippines read it and i have no idea who! could be co-workers. good reminded to keep things vague and appropriate!
Was it you?! I don’t remember any more 🙂 It was a bit of a shock, but I don’t really have anything to hide so it’s all good :-0
Well, you used to come by my old blog, so you know that this topic is near and dear to my paranoid old heart. Since I left Canada, I’ve been DEATHLY afraid of other Canadians finding my blog. Now that I’m in Holland, I’m DEATHLY afraid of people here finding my blog. 🙂 But I’m trying to loosen up JUST a little bit, mostly because I want to put up pictuers of my Dutchie doing his normal ridiculous things. But I think that I’ll always remain anonymous on my blog. More power to you for just letting yourself go and showing your wonderful life to the world.
omg! It’s you!! I didn’t think you were blogging anymore, I’m off to your new one now to find out what you’ve been up to 🙂
Girl…i was talking to my bf (a dutchie) about you guys a while back(wow, has it been that long!), and mentioned Lieblings name…he cracked up…and said, you do know that can’t be his real name 🙂 I felt very stupid…..
lol!! Well, there’s no way you could know if you don’t speak German!
Must say, that first pic of you (in the green top) is my favourite one of you on this site! You look so pretty and happy in it 🙂
The only German words I know are: daschund, schnitzel (spelling?), and pretzel (is that even German?) As you know, in Canadian schools, we don’t get to take German classes, so I actually thought Liebling was a perfectly normal, German name for a boy for a long time. Then I realized on FB that the boy you tagged in your photos was NOT named Liebling (plus last name). I put the pieces together and voila!
I’m a pretty private blogger I think. I’ve only ever published my first name, and those of my friends and husbands. I don’t write which exact town I live in (when I say i lived in Paris, it was a nearby suburb that I never named), and even now in the Alps, I’ve not written which exact town it is. I’ll only publish photos of other people if they agree to it first, and most of my former students and all of Max’s family don’t know about this blog. That’s where I stand on this whole privacy thing!
Whoa! I wrote “husbands” plural! I only have one! I’ve only ever had one!
(I’m leaving my original comment up there, but dammit, it’s “husband”, not “husbands”!)
That’s ok Crystal, I know you’re a polygamist… 😉 lol. But seriously, I respect your right to privacy: sometimes I think that ppl are kind of like “welllll, you blog and tell us nearly everything anyway, so why not give us the full monty???” I remember when you posted about not feeling comfortable putting up pics of your in-laws. I usually don’t ask friends and fam if I’m allowed to put up their pics, but I probably should!
I am pretty straightforward about who I am and where I am on my blog. I should probably be a bit more careful, but, luckily, I live far enough out in the boondocks in China that I haven’t had any stalkers show up at my door.
I do leave out some details — like the name of my employer. I also don’t use my last name on my blog — mostly for potential future job search reasons. And because my last name is hard to spell and always mispronounced — so it just kind of makes things easier to leave it out. But it wouldn’t take too much Internet snooping to connect my full name to my blog.
I tend to be a bit more concerned about the privacy of my friends & family members than my own privacy, to be honest. I usually don’t use their names (first or last) and I won’t post photos of them unless I know they’re cool with it. Mind you, I have absolutely no problem with posting photos of strangers dressed up in weird outfits or doing weird things. I mean, come on, if you’re wearing a panda costume, you’re just ASKING to have your photo taken & put on my blog!
Same here! I always get worried when posting pics of friends and family. I have to remember that I signed up for this blogging thing and not them! As for posting photos of strangers on the blog, I kind of feel like they’re fair game 😉
I sort of wafted between caring and not caring for a while, but then concluded that I might as well just be me and see what happened. Whilst there is a temptation to start up a truly anonymous blog, I’m not sure what I’d write on it that I don’t already share. Clearly I need a more exciting life 😉
I kind of feel the same! I don’t really have much to be secretive about… Not so bad being “boring” though!
I’ve tried to keep my online presence more polite (I swear like a sailor in person) and have left out private life details because I wanted to keep that to myself. As others have said, what you put online is for everyone to consume and so remaining mindful of how it could be used is important. If I go back to lawyering one day, I wouldn’t want my site or what I’ve written to be a negative in some ways. But like you, I now use my real name 🙂
Congrats on the mention in the Montreal Gazette btw! My mum cut out the article for me to read when I came back home for a visit 🙂
Oh wow, nice that you saw the paper! I had no idea that that article came out in print- what a surprise! Anyway, I concur, the online domain is one that is unforgivingly public, so better to be safe than sorry when it comes to what you post!
My blog is pretty much an open book, you can find out most things about me: my name, age, city I live in, where I’m currently travelling etc… I have never considered the idea of delaying posts so I don’t reveal where I am in the world as a safety precaution – I can’t imagine anybody being interested enough in me to stalk me!!
As I am a high school teacher I do make sure that my writing is professional and sets a good example. Many of my teacher friends don’t think they should worry about what they put on-line, but I disagree the students WILL look for you and I would rather not spend my lessons fending off questions about how many pints I downed at the weekend. I know my students take an interest in my blog and ex-students, who are now travelling themselves, ask me for advice. I like knowing that they trust my experience and judgement.
It was only when I started teaching that I realized how interested students are in their teachers’ personal lives! My students have always been really open about how they stalk all their teachers on Facebook!
Nice post, very interesting. I always use my real name on the Internet but I’ve got nothing to hide 😉
I did know, but I remember how surprised I was when you started talking about some guy called X – who was this X, and what had happened to Liebling?! I am still somewhat private about my last name, although it wouldn’t take much effort to figure it out (ditto Rodolfo). I’ve started to feel like that’s a little silly, but something still keeps me from just writing it out on my site. The job stuff I try to keep 100% of the internet though, and I don’t think that will change as long as I’m in the corporate world.
Haha, I know! I think you, me and Kyle had some sort of email thread where I mentioned Liebling’s real name and you were like, “wha?” lol
Thoughtful post. I do post my name on my blog and will post my article updates on my personal FB account even I know my work/ industry people see it. Although, I’ve gone from entertainment to ESL, so it’s not very conservative. In a way, I still feel like it counts as work and I’m keeping people abreast with ‘my work’ — writing, event documentation & photography.
However I do somewhat edit my work so that it’s tasteful and polite.
I’m kind of the same as you- education isn’t super conservative, which is why I don’t mind if students somehow find my blog and start reading!
I only give my real name on Facebook because most of my FBF are family members or friends. Any other social media, I use a nickname for privacy reasons. I don’t share too much…LOL..my life is not as exciting as yours. I did not know that Liebling’s “name” was a term of endearment. I like that name for him. BTW, I like you two together!
Aww, thanks so much so saying we look good together!
What a great post subject. I just started blogging 8 months ago and wanted my blog name to reflect something about my love of brownstones. My real name is on my blog though. I am proud of my name because it is unusual and reflects my Panamanian heritage. It is also not pronounced the way most people think it is. The X is said like an S not a Z. Sane-ya is how you pronounce my name.
At first my blog was about the restoration of my brownstone, but quickly developed into much more such as my love of reading, British movies based on classic books, interior decorating, food, my love and pride of African people and natural hair, art and my spiritual beliefs which is NOT traditional among other areas of life. I am very truthful about myself on my blog, but I do not talk about family members or friends. I did recently write a blog post about sex and men and interviewed a man that I know. I asked him if he wants to remain anonymous or can I use his real name. He opted to remain anonymous so I respected that choice.
I decided right from the start to be authentically me on my blog. I don’t write anything on it about work because I like to leave work there and not take it home with me. I love my job and am very thankful to have one, but for me it is just a job that enables me to pay the bills, restore my brownstone and pay for vacations, etc, etc. It is not a career so I will never be blogging about anything in the workplace on my blog or facebook. I did tell my co-workers about my blog though by sending everyone in my department the link by email. The response was very positive and I received lots of compliments. I did this BEFORE my blog morphed into something more, so now I am kind of hoping that my co-workers lost interest in my blog and no longer look at it….LOL Not that there is anything on it that I am ashamed of. I love and am proud of every post I publish. It is just that having people you actually know reading it feels a little different than people whom you have never met reading it. I do have some old fashioned ideas about love and sex that I am not all too sure I want my co-workers reading. I also am quite “new age” in my spiritual beliefs which would not sit well with those who are traditional religion. I decided not to go full force into my spiritual beliefs on my blog. I have another separate website for that and the only way a person would ever know it is mine is if I told them.
I love blogging and it feeds my love of writing. I would love for my blog to become popular among blogs. I have already been featured on two popular blogs. Blogging is a real commitment though. You have to keep it fresh and updated if you want to attract followers and keep the ones you already have. I have come across blogs where the last time the blog owner posted was in 2008. Being authentic and not remaining anonymous is part of having a successful blog too.
I hope to one day be able to devote much of my time to traveling the world and blogging about it. Thank you for sharing parts of your life with us.
How cool that you shared the link to your blog with co-workers! I always get worried that they’ll think I’m bragging or something, so I don’t mention my online persona to most people I don’t know that well. Love your name!
I found out Liebling’s real name simply by being friends with you on facebook. I was confused at first, then figured it out 🙂
Just came across your blog via a great blogger adam from http://travelsofadam.com/. He tweeted about Black Women Expatriates and here I am on your site 🙂
I ferociously like to protect my identity on the internet! However, I’ve noticed that naturally I have been moving towards disclosing more these days. Probably b/c I started meeting some of the bloggers I really enjoy live and their confidence in terms of web presence and disclosure is rubbing off on me. But yes I get tired of doing my own rendition of “Oneika aka Nikita”. Heck it confuses me lol! It’s a work in progress I guess just like personal development we shall see how I feel in a few days, weeks, months 🙂 By the way I am very into visiting London, the music scene is wicked! How do you like the people there in general?
Efrutik aka “someone else” lol
Hi “Someone else”!! lol Thanks so much for dropping by, I appreciate your comment 🙂
People in London are pretty nice and open, but paradoxically I feel like it’s hard to meet people here… Doesn’t make sense, I know!!
Wow! Thank you! I permanently wanted to write on my website something like that. Can I take a fragment of your post to my blog?
Sure, no problem!
This is my first time stumbling upon your blog but I get the sense that I will be very happy here. I actually am pretty open with my online identity but, like you, I totally understand those who are more apprehensive about it. And while my boyfriend (who’s name I do actually share but I kind of wish I had come up with a clever nickname now that you bring it up!) does not want his life online, he supports me and my blog and allows me to post little bits and pieces of him. It’s all about balance – you know?!
Great post!! I don’t share my blog with many of my friends. I rather share it w people that are interested in the same things. I’m ok w sharing my name. However, I always try to keep in mind that anything could be used against me by my employer of future employers. Even status updates in facebook could be a problem at work. I try to vent in private 🙂 I wanted to share the boudoir pics that Kyle took for me but I was afraid of having someone at work find a picture of me in underwear. Sadly I do think that it could affect the way I’m seeing proffesinally in a male dominated work environment. Even if it covers more than a bikini at the beach… Oh, and I didn’t know what Liebling meant. Must b funny that we all call him “darling”. I did see a post w another name but I didn’t think it was someone else just maybe his middle name…
Its something I think about, because when i make my blog, I want it to be a personal blog. I guess there are somethings I will have to be careful with though…
Good points. I do and I don’t. I actually have a travel nick name that was hoisted upon me. LOL So I prefer to use that online, but I do not have a problem with personally interacting with people who know about my blog using my real name. It is what it is.
I love hearing women say my name, so it was an easy decision to use my real name on the net. And my last name allows me a play on words with everything being associated with ‘heart.’
You do have a great name… Perfect for blogging/writing!!
Case in point… me! I prefer Liebling anyway. He is rather nice-guy-esque though, innit?
Great post! I just recently started putting photographs of myself on my travel blog lol
“Travel blogging and Anonymity on the Internet
(or, Did you know Liebling’s name isn’t really Liebling?) – Oneika
the Traveller” in fact got me personally simply addicted on ur web page!
Iwill probably wind up being returning a lot
more frequently. With thanks ,Nell
Such a cute story. My husband doesn’t want me to use his name either, so I use his initials “J.P”. He has gotten better about allowing me to put photos of him on my blog though, in the beginning, he didn’t want any recognizable photo of himself up. Now he’ll happily pose for photos. I think a lot of Germans are more private than North Americans, at least that’s been my experience.
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Interesting topic. I’ve actual read a couple of travel blogs by “anonymous” writers and just found it so odd… It was so impersonal and weird to just have photos without any people ever. Times have massively changed since I was a kid and our parents would go crazy if we wrote our name on the internet…
Interesting to see so many commenters mentioning nervousness of themselves or friends having photos on their blog too, in the aim of anonymity. I tried to avoid this for a while but in the end I agree with Charlie above that it probably came across impersonal and thought heck why not. I still get called The Hostel Girl rather than Katie though haha
This was a cool article! Strangely, I am conflicted, at present. As far as FB, I make it so that my students/employers can not find me. But, for the sake of a travel blog, I felt inspired by you, to create one. HOWEVER, i never went public with it. The purpose was to create a space to share travel pics with my family and basically write about the details. Nonetheless, many people ask about my trips all of the time and so I started referring people to my blog (just a cheesy thing that started out for family only). But, it’s really me and my authentic pics. My rule is to never really discuss relationships, family issues, or anything too personal! I abide by that personal rule with FB too and that way I feel I have nothing to worry about. Truthfully, I would probably be one individual that would make you laugh, because I surely would say hi Libeling, because i thought that was his real name!!!! I saw your post and that sentence caught my attention, as you probably intended it to!!!
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